Whether this is the first thing you’ve read on your twin flame journey or you’ve been here a while, it’s very important you understand the difference between twin flames and soul mates.

This misunderstanding is possibly the biggest cause of twin flame failure I’ve ever seen.

And it’s mostly spread because things like Hollywood rom-coms talk about a ‘soulmate’ like it was the ‘be all and end all.’ It’s something we’re supposed to be aiming for while we know the truth:

A soulmate is a stepping stone. They don’t mean you malice or harm, but they are false twin flames.

If you read no further, at least let that be the takeaway here. If you’re looking for guidance on your journey and telling the difference, consider getting a twin flame reading, but I’ll try and cover some general things you can look for to try and spot the difference here.

soul mates

Twin Flames vs Soul Mate

Before we start looking at the difference between twin flames and soul mates, you must understand one thing.

The internet is full of disagreements about each term. The flood of people trying to sell you a twin flame dating service or god knows what else has led to a mix of information that can make it difficult to understand what kind of relationship you’re dealing with.

And it’s important that you understand the difference if you’re trying to make it through a twin flame journey.

Generally, it’s agreed that a soulmate is someone you can feel incredibly close to (this is why there’s often an overlap between soul mates and false twin flames), but it is very far from a real twin flame.

The TL;DR difference: A soulmate is someone you feel connected to on a spiritual level. Often friends or sometimes romantic interests and your path together involves preparing each other to meet your twin flames. Your twin flame is your mirror soul. It’s kind of like comparing a kayak to a cruise liner.

And, yes, it’s entirely possible (although rare) that you meet a soulmate and twin flame at the same time. What is important is that you learn to tell the difference between the two as quickly as possible. If you misunderstand or confuse them (which is easier done than you might think), it can lead to a lot of pain for both of you.

Intensity of the Connection

Your twin flame reflects an intense mirror image, potentially revealing your deepest fears, insecurities, and greatest strengths.

This connection often vibrates with energy that feels both overwhelming and transformative. In contrast, a soulmate bond may not have the same intensity but instead offers a comfortable, harmonious relationship where the flow of energy supports mutual growth and understanding without the extremes that twin flames often experience.

Purpose and Life Impact

The purpose of meeting your twin flame is typically to face and heal karmic lessons or past life issues, thus pushing you toward self-mastery. They can trigger a personal awakening that may not always feel pleasant but is aimed at achieving your highest potential.

Conversely, soulmates tend to arrive as key figures who encourage and challenge you to become the best version of yourself, often without the same level of turbulence associated with twin flames.

Duration of the Relationships

You and your twin flame are connected in a way that transcends lifetimes. No matter what comes between you in any lifetime, the two of you are two halves of the same soul.

Conversely, soulmate relationships can be long-lasting, providing a lifetime of companionship and support. The misconception that all such spiritual connections are meant to be romantic or eternal often leads to disappointment; recognizing that some bonds are meant to be temporary helps in managing your expectations and setting healthy boundaries.

Understanding Soulmates

A soulmate is rarer to find than a kindred spirit (which we’ll cover later if you’re unfamiliar with them). This is a connection you don’t just ‘vibe’ with but usually someone you have a deep and meaningful connection with immediately. The name pretty much sums it up – a soulmate is a friend of the soul.

For those of us lucky enough to have found a soulmate, that’s a relationship to be nurtured and treasured for a lifetime and beyond. Few topics or experiences are entirely off-limits, and you’re likely to find yourselves spending a lot of time together.

This is a hugely important relationship, and a soulmate is often there to play a big part in your spiritual development. What you can’t allow this to become is a false twin flame, which can seem complicated at times – especially if you’ve met both your soulmate and twin flame.

It’s tough going, I know. Understanding the theory of all this and the different types of relationships is just the tip of the iceberg.

Trying actually to keep this straight in practice is a whole different ballgame. But there’s a reason we have to get it right. If you mistake one type of connection for the other, you can cause both of you to spend time not following your true twin flame path and cause both of you pain and harm in the long run.

The more you study the different types of connections, the better you’ll get at telling the difference. The sooner you learn to tell the difference, the better you’ll be able to manage your relationships, which means maintaining more kindred spirits and a better soulmate connection while still following your twin flame journey properly.

Soul Mate Bonds

Your soul mate is someone with whom you share a deep connection, transcending regular friendships or work relationships. This bond is rooted in a profound level of compatibility and harmony, stimulating personal growth and healing. Communication flows naturally between soul mates, often leading to valuable learning experiences and an increase in confidence.

Types of Soul Mate Connections

Soul mates manifest in various forms, not exclusively as romantic partners. You may encounter them as friends, mentors, or family members. Each soul mate serves a unique purpose:

  • Friends: Offer platonic love and support in your personal or professional life.
  • Mentors: Provide guidance, wisdom, and foster your skill development.
  • Romantic Partners: Engage in a relationship built on mutual respect, true love, and shared life goals.
  • Family: Play integral roles in your formative years, shaping your sense of self.

A (Relatively) Quick and Easy Way to Tell the Difference

It’s usually pretty easy to spot kindred spirits. These are people you feel like you get on well with, but they don’t completely bowl you over right away.

Telling a soulmate apart from a twin flame can be harder sometimes. It’s one of those things which (frustratingly) is only obvious after the fact.

These are some common signs of a soulmate connection.

  • A soulmate connection does not have to be a romantic relationship – although it often becomes one about 50% of the time, in my experience.
  • The strength of the connection may change over time and go through ebbs and flows, but it is always there. More so than your average friendship.
  • A soulmate’s role in your life is to push each other spiritually. You’ll often find they challenge you to better yourself or call you on your bullshit in some situations.
  • The relationship brings about a strong life lesson. This usually goes both ways.
  • A soulmate connection can bring up some past life pain. Part of the spiritual journey involves healing, sometimes bringing out short-term pain for long-term benefit.
  • Even if a relationship is not romantic, it is often felt as having that kind of energy by both sides. You might never act on it, but chemistry will always be there.
  • The connection will create a desire to team up against a foe or create something amazing. It’s a partnership unlike most others and will inspire and push both of you to be your best selves.
  • A real soulmate connection will help lead you to your twin flame journey. Even if your soulmate isn’t consciously aware of what a twin flame is, they’ll be subconsciously helping you get there.

Common Questions

Can You Be Twin Flames And Soul Mates?


Again, I’ve seen people on social media claim otherwise, but I think this represents a fundamental misunderstanding about what a soulmate and a twin flame are.

You’re not “giving up” on finding your soul mate when you reach union with your twin flame. You’ve found the ultimate connection with your mirror soul, and it’s only this Hollywood spread the idea of what we should be looking for that makes people think they should be looking for a soulmate.

Can a Soulmate Become a Twin Flame?

Again, similar to the last question, there’s some misinformation on this one.

No. Your twin flame never changes. They either are or aren’t your twin flame. There are no in-betweens.

Which is Better, Soulmate or Twin Flame?

A soulmate is an amazing connection. One you should absolutely cherish, and it’s rarer to find than people think (again – because Hollywood rams the idea of them down our throat).

If you find your soulmate that you have that kind of connection with, this is great. Both to have that person in your life and as a way to further your twin flame journey.

But if you really want a ‘better’ relationship, then there’s no competition. A twin flame is the other side of you. They are the mirror soul that you meet across multiple lifetimes. A soulmate doesn’t compare to that.

How Do You Tell the Difference?

The journey of recognizing a soulmate or a twin flame is deeply personal.

Your soulmate is a separate entity with whom you share a significant and harmonious connection, often characterized by a sense of deep and natural affinity. In contrast, a twin flame reflects your own energies and consciousness as if you’re looking into a mirror of your soul.

At the end of the day, only you can really tell the difference between the two of them. Third parties can help you understand the syncs and messages from the universe, but ultimately, this is for you to figure out.

soulmate vs twin flame

Twin Flame vs Soulmate vs Karmic Soulmate or ‘Kindred Spirit’

It’s important to remember (again) that the internet is full of different views and definitions, which can really make things hard to understand. We’ll try to break this down to make it as easy to follow as possible because it is important to understand the difference when you’re trying to further your twin flame journey.

Over the years, twin flames, soulmates, and karmic spirits (or kindred spirits) are all phrases that have been twisted and used to describe important relationships. These relationships change our lives in noticeable ways (and not just weekend flings). Every relationship with another person can be important, but you need to be able to spot a real twin flame journey.

Remember that different journeys are going to have different experiences. I can share my own journey and the kind of things I see with clients and readers who get in touch. Your experience might vary compared to what you read online, and that’s nothing to worry about.

What also makes it difficult is meeting both a twin flame and a soulmate in the same lifetime is rare. It absolutely happens, but not as often as some might have you believe.

If you do find yourself struggling to understand what type of connection you’re sharing with someone, I do offer twin flame readings that look at your journey specifically. Sometimes, it can help to have an outside pair of eyes who can spot something you haven’t noticed.

Understanding Kindred Spirits

karmic soul

A kindred spirit is often someone who resonates at the same frequency as you. It’s someone you feel like you ‘click’ with and get on with, usually very early on. It’s the most common type of connection out of the three; many of us experience it multiple times with different people. You’ll also experience the exact opposite with someone people that you just don’t ‘vibe’ with because your frequency is totally different.

A kindred spirit could be pretty much anything from a family member or close friend to someone you just met. Some people feel a kindred spirit with a mentor, pet or someone they’re in a non-twin flame relationship with. What we commonly call a crush in a romantic situation is often exactly this.

A kindred spirit will often feel like an overwhelming force in our lives for a short period. They might seem very important to you (and there’s nothing wrong with spending time with them), but it’s important you remember this is more of a friendship connection and not your destiny. Enjoy spending time with them (as you’ll likely have the same interests), but you’ll need to learn to spot the difference in a twin flame journey and spending time with a kindred spirit.

Doing this quickly will save both of you time and pain later on.

A kindred spirit connection can be deep, meaningful, and a lot of fun, and I’m certainly not saying you need to ignore them, but it’s important to ensure you’re not getting sidetracked from your twin flame journey.

Finding Your Twin Flame Means Accepting These Differences

Thankfully, more and more of us are starting to understand what a twin flame journey really is. There’s still plenty of confusion about the difference between twin flames vs. soulmates, but eventually, we’ll get a blockbuster twin flame movie, and people will finally stop holding themselves back by just searching for a soulmate.

To reach a true twin flame union, you do need to start looking beyond just a soulmate connection, though. The twin flame journey can be tougher to go through, but the results don’t even compare. If you’re looking for some guidance on your path ahead, then take a few moments to tell me about your journey so far:

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After struggling with my own twin flame journey for many years I became (I'll say it) almost obsessed with the twin flame journey and this path of self-discovery and improvement.

Now after sharing the stories of thousands of people going through their own journey I want to share my own thoughts and the patterns I see on twin flames.

I'm wary of speaking in absolutes on a subject like this. There's too much that any of us will really ever *know* (at least in this lifetime) so my opinions are based on my experience and the experience of those I speak to and who share their stories with me.

There are no two journeys that are ever going to be entirely alike but when you see enough of them, you do see definite patterns emerge.

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