Doubt is a huge part of a twin flame journey. It’s completely understandable and perfectly normal. Asking, are twin flames real? is all part of the journey.

You might ask this question before you meet your true flame. You might be dealing with the rough separation phase where doubt is normal and perfectly human. You might (and this is very common) be almost close to the end of your path and about to achieve union and still be doubting. We’ve looked at this in more detail when we covered twin flame stages but I completely understand your doubt.

In fact, I’m not even going to try and convince you. I’d actually like to (briefly) share my story.

twin flames

My Own History of Doubt

I’ll be honest – I was a cynic.

I write for one of (if not the) biggest twin flame sites around, and I wouldn’t have believed a word of it if someone had tried to explain this to me. It wasn’t until I first felt soul shock meeting my twin. It knocked me off my feet. Utterly changed my life (very much for the better).

Even after that initial meeting during the running/chasing phase, I began to have my doubts again. It’s actually a good thing that this is part of the journey. You can wind up wasting a lot of time and getting hurt badly if you let a journey continue too long with a false twin flame. It’s important to be sure and keep yourself on the right track.

During this phase, however, I hadn’t even heard that term. I had no idea what was going on or why I was feeling that way. Looking back, it all makes sense, but I can completely understand why someone would question it.

I was always very cynical about relationships in general. Very matter-of-fact. You can be happy with someone one moment and done with them the next. That’s life.

And then there’s a twin flame connection. I’ll never really try to convince someone to believe the same as I believe. I will say that when you meet your real twin flame – you’ll understand.

Fake or False Twin Flames

If you know you’re on your journey, and you understand this type of connection, then it might not be the overall idea of twin flames you’re questing. In fact, for some, if you’ve experienced soul shock, you’ll sometimes forget how easy it is to question it to begin with.

What is very common is to question not if twin flames are real – but if you’re currently with your real twin flame.

Sadly, this happens far too often. Especially when we confuse a connection like a kindred spirit with a soulmate, you might think you’ve found the one, but things can turn… nasty. Quickly. A false flame is (fairly) normal but not something you should ignore. It not only causes a lot of emotional, spiritual and (sometimes) physical pain – but it slows down your spiritual enlightenment with your real twin flame.

Questioning and doubt are perfectly normal. Part of the journey. Something you should be doing.

When I do a twin flame reading with someone who is nearing the end of their separation phase or before meeting their flame, there’s almost always doubt. Doubt they’re with the right person or doubt they’ll ever meet them at all.

It’s normal.

In a lot of ways, it’s good you’re questioning this. It’ll push you further down the right path.

Common Misconceptions About Twin Flames

One of the biggest misconceptions about twin flames I often see is mixing them up with soulmates or kindred spirits. This can actually be counterproductive and lead to more false flame encounters than your journey actually requires.

I’ve covered the difference in twin flames and soul mates before but here are the bullet points:

  • A kindred spirit is someone you ‘vibe with‘. There may be an instant connection and you’ll get on great as friends. A romantic relationship is common but very often sours quickly and they are not your true flame. It’s important to learn to spot this type of connection because they can make great friends – but neither of you will gain from a relationship.
  • A soulmate is someone you’re going to have a deep and meaningful connection with right away. This is not always a romantic relationship – although it can be. It’s entirely possible to meet both your soulmate and your twin flame in the same lifetime (although this is incredibly rare). They play a role in your spiritual development and should be cherished – but are no replacement for your mirror soul.
  • A twin flame is… basically your other half. You are two parts of the same coin. There is no other connection like this and when you feel it – you feel it. You’ll both strengthen each other, inspire each other and change each other for the better more than you ever thought possible. Nothing is even close to this level of connection.

Proof of Twin Flames

Most of us intuitively know they have a twin flame. Even if they’re not consciously aware of it – unless it’s something we’re trying to fight against actively it’s kind of just… known.

It’s not like I can pull up a scientific study here to show you. Like anything ineffable, a lot of this stuff is up for debate and I could show you countless pieces of anecdotal evidence and it might not mean anything to you. And that’s alright.

The Discussion about the Truth on Twin Flames

It is the internet and you know what they say. Opinions are like assholes, everybody has them.

The idea of ‘proving twin flames are real’ or otherwise is the same as proving (or disproving) the existence of a god. It’s an argument as old as time and doesn’t really get us anywhere. On that note, twin flames are actually touched on in several religions.

real twin flames

Infatuation vs Real Twin Flames

Like any member of the human race, I’ve had a crush on someone. I’ve felt lust or infatuation. I’ve struggled to get this person off my mind when we’re apart but what’s the difference in this and a real twin flame connection? – or is there one?

This answer does make a compelling argument that some people convince themselves of a twin flame connection that doesn’t really exist. I firmly believe this can happen to some people.

People who are over obsessed with this feeling that they are twin Flames but are really not. Such people are more insecure, generally do not seek answers from their inner wisdom and get busy in reading everything they can, discuss things in groups, have debets etc.) They keep asking very mundane questions on forums like Quora.

Eg. I feel I have a twin flame. What should I do? /Or my twin flame is dating someone else, what should I do?/ I met this boy a month back. I think we have a connection. Do you think he is my twin flame?

It is a clear example of how they are trying to relate to this concept somehow and have not really awakened to it. When it comes to such people, spoon feeding is more than seeking, making effort to go within is completely absent. (These people will probably discard twin flames later, claiming that this is all a fad, and will move on. The number of people in this category will be larger than true twin Flames.)

But this doesn’t actually disprove the existence of twin flames. It doesn’t prove it either – the point I’m trying to make is that you can absolutely convince yourself of a twin flame connection when there isn’t one. You might just be lusting after someone and it’s not like there’s a physical chart you can measure the difference by.

Before you head for the contact page, please don’t try and describe your relationship to me and ask if they are your twin flame. There’s no way I can answer that question. There are way too many factors involved – but I can help you decide for yourself.

What I can say is that once you’ve actually felt a twin flame connection – you’ll know the difference.

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The Psychological Perspective

Exploring the twin flame concept through psychological lenses reveals critical aspects of human relationships, including attachment styles and emotional dependencies. Understanding these dynamics is vital for distinguishing between profound connections and potentially harmful patterns.

Attachment and Codependency

Attachment theory suggests that your early experiences with caregivers form the blueprint for future relationships. When you consider a twin flame, it’s crucial to assess whether the relationship encourages mutual growth or fosters codependency.

Codependency arises when you rely excessively on your partner for emotional support or identity, leading to an unhealthy imbalance.

Recognizing Unhealthy Patterns

A twin flame relationship might create intense emotions, but it can also trigger unhealthy patterns.

For example, you may find yourself overlooking weaknesses or making excuses for toxic behavior. Psychologists recommend being vigilant for signs of obsession or unhealthy relationship dynamics, such as sacrificing your needs for the sake of the relationship.

are twin flames real

The Spiritual Context

Your understanding of twin flames can be deepened by exploring its spiritual basis, which often involves concepts of soul connection, divine purpose, and predestined encounters.

Soul Connections and Destiny

In the realm of spiritual connection, the idea of twin flames is rooted in the belief that your soul is intrinsically linked to another’s—representing two halves of a whole.

This soul connection is seen as a divine catalyst for growth, pushing you towards your true potential and often invoking a sense of coming home when you meet your twin flame. It’s suggested that this powerful connection is not a chance event but rather a part of your destiny, written into your spiritual path before you stepped foot on Earth.

Cultural and Historical Insights

The concept of twin flames can be traced back through various historical and cultural lenses, with mentions as early as Plato’s works, which speak of the soul being split into two.

Over the centuries, this notion has evolved, but the essence remains—a profound connection ordained by the divine. Today, certain spiritual groups interpret twin flames as a relationship that transcends both time and the physical plane, leading towards spiritual enlightenment and personal evolution.


After struggling with my own twin flame journey for many years I became (I'll say it) almost obsessed with the twin flame journey and this path of self-discovery and improvement.

Now after sharing the stories of thousands of people going through their own journey I want to share my own thoughts and the patterns I see on twin flames.

I'm wary of speaking in absolutes on a subject like this. There's too much that any of us will really ever *know* (at least in this lifetime) so my opinions are based on my experience and the experience of those I speak to and who share their stories with me.

There are no two journeys that are ever going to be entirely alike but when you see enough of them, you do see definite patterns emerge.

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1 comment

  • My commitment to TF is to only be committed to her , I believe we are in separation now and it is rather difficult, communication has stopped from her , although I still send her things as we always have. I must admit she never really responded much , she didn’t have to I just New
    It is becoming a kind of test it seems to me as to weather my commitment is real
    Is kissing someone else a break of this commitment.
    I am a virgin as far as divine lovemaking goes and she is really the only interest I have in that regard ,but I have other strong relationships with a couple people both have involved sex but in the not to distant past. This stopped after I made my commitment
    Because of this weird crazy TF we haven’t talked about it. It is just felt
    This is one crazy weird otherworldly experience but my enlightenment has begun because of her and is growing

    The love I have for her is like nothing I even knew could exist.

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