Trying to understand what the twin flame runner is thinking is tough at the best of times. Trust me, I know. I’ve been there. It can make you want to rip out your hair and scream at the universe—or (sometimes) even your runner twin.

When you feel the connection this strongly, it can be hard to understand why they don’t feel it, too.

So. What are twin flame runners really thinking, and why don’t they see what you see?

twin flame runner thinking

First (and perhaps most importantly), it’s important to know that the twin flame runner is not trying to hurt you. The separation phase is emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes physically painful, but there’s no malice in it. The runner is acting out of self-defense. For a while, I was the twin flame runner in my journey (a long time ago). What I was thinking at the time seemed so logical to me back then.

Everything we learn in our ‘usual’ 3D relationships does not prepare us for the connection that comes with meeting your true mirror soul.

We all know there will be a separation stage in every twin flame relationship. It is (usually) inevitable, and no matter how good things are at the beginning, this stage will come at some point. It’s sadly part of the journey for most of us, and while that brings pain, it also brings union. It allows us to heal and be truly ready for that connection. There are many reasons for separation to start and many things the twin flame runner could be thinking.

What Are They Thinking About?

In exploring the twin flame runner’s mindset, it’s vital to recognize the intricate psychology and spirituality at play and the profound emotions involved during separation.

twin flame chaser

The Psychology Behind Running

Your twin flame runner may exhibit a tendency to flee from the intense connection you share. At the core, this could stem from deep-rooted fears or previous traumas that have not been addressed. The runner situation is often complicated by a paradoxical desire for closeness and an overwhelming urge to escape from it. This is influenced by:

  1. Confusion: The profound connection can be perplexing, making runners question the reality of the bond.
  2. Unpreparedness: They may feel they are not ready to embrace such a powerful union. They don’t even know what that means yet.
  3. Autonomy: A high value placed on independence could cause the runner to resist the vulnerability required in a twin flame bond.

The Emotional Turmoil of Separation

During the separation phase, your runner twin flame might struggle with an array of emotions. Feelings of anxiety and fear are not uncommon as they navigate the intensity of the connection. Key emotional responses include:

  • Overwhelm: A sense that the emotional depth is too much to handle.
  • Unworthiness: A belief that they do not deserve or cannot meet the expectations of the connection.
  • Longing: Despite the distancing, there’s often a profound sense of missing the other half.

It’s important to recognize that while the journey is challenging, it is also a path toward growth and self-discovery for both the runner and the chaser.

When you’re entangled in the twin flame dynamic, understanding the mindset of your twin flame runner can be perplexing. Here’s what might be going through their head:

  • Feeling Overwhelmed: The intensity is akin to a mirror reflecting their deepest insecurities. They may feel unprepared for such a powerful connection.
  • Desire for Freedom: They often associate closeness with loss of independence, perceiving your bond as a potential entrapment.
  • Self-Reflection: Runners are frequently forced to face personal issues, which can lead to discomfort and the urge to flee.
  • Fear of Vulnerability: Getting close means being open, something that can terrify the runner due to past experiences.

For the runner, the process is a complex mix of emotions. Here’s a concise list of their common contemplations:

  1. Control: Fear that the chaser wants to dominate the relationship.
  2. Anxiety: Uncertainty about the relationship’s unconventional nature causes distress.
  3. Self-Improvement: Awareness that personal growth is required and may consume their thoughts.
  4. Support: Conflicted feelings about needing support while desiring independence.
  5. Connection: The inexplicable pull towards you they can’t rationalize but often resist.

In the runner effect, your counterpart might be processing these thoughts silently, leading to actions that can seem distancing. But remember, their internal debate often revolves around the need for autonomy versus the intense pull of the twin flame connection. The chaser dynamic then naturally seeks to close this gap, pursuing understanding and closeness.

Why are Twin Flame Runners Running?

They Get Overwhelmed

The love that twin flames share is special, and no other bond in this world is stronger than the bond between twin flames. However, the feeling is new for both partners, and sometimes it can be overwhelming. Since there is no other bond as special as this, it could be hard for people to get used to things in the beginning.

This is something that every person who gets in a twin flame relationship feels. But some people don’t know how to handle stuff at the beginning. So, it becomes a reason for some people to flee the relationship.

They Are Afraid of Change

It’s a normal trait to fear change to some degree. Even the more adventurous amongst us want some things to stay the same. A twin flame journey has the habit of changing things. Big time.

These changes can be huge. Life-changing. The journey can be like trying to make it through an earthquake on a pogo stick.

This could easily scare a person if he doesn’t like changes. Seeing things change suddenly could force him to move away from the relationship. People who don’t appreciate changes could easily get scared in such situations, and this is a common reason for a partner to run away.

They Could be Afraid to Lose The Other Person

Another possibility is that the other person could be scared to lose his partner.

Since the bond between twin flames is special and can’t be matched, insecurities are more likely to be there. The way a person loves his twin flame is special, and things are much deeper than any other relationship. But, this sometimes makes people wonder what their lives would be without their partner.

This is something that could make a person take steps that he would regret in the future. When you can’t imagine your life without a person, either you will give your 100%, or you will try to end things up before it’s too late. The same is the case with twin flame relationships as well. The chaser gives his 100% till the end, but the runner is afraid to get attached. This is why they sometimes want to run away from the relationship.

They Could Want to ‘Figure Things Out’

This is a common thing you hear with twin flame stories. It’s a line I used myself and one I’ve heard from many chasers.

It’s more of a cover or explanation (sometimes as much to themselves as to you).

Some people may want to figure things out in life before jumping into a deep relationship. But, in a twin flame relationship, everything happens quickly. People may not even get a chance to think before getting into a relationship. It could also easily scare them; however, this isn’t the case here. In this case, the runner also wants to be in a relationship with his other half. But, before moving forward in the relationship, he wants to figure some things out.

The runner will come back once he has figured out everything. But, no matter what the reason is, it will be hard on the chase for sure. The chaser will have insecurities, and the situation will be hard for him. But the good thing is that they both will get back together.

twin flame runner

Remember: The Twin Flame Runner Doesn’t Know Either

Sometimes I feel like trying to explain problems in twin flame journeys isn’t always helpful because the answers you give are basically “nobody knows”.

The twin flame runner is probably lying to themselves during this phase. They can’t tell you how they feel because very, very rarely will they know themselves.

There are many cases when the runner also doesn’t know the reason for running away. These situations can be equally hard on both the runner and the chaser. The runner wants to move away without knowing the reason and experiences a force leading him away. This is how the universe works. When something is supposed to happen, it will happen without you wanting it.

However, there is a happy ending in this case, as well. The runner will come back without a doubt, and that will also happen according to the planning of the universe. Also, it will prove helpful for both partners in the long run.

Well, if you were thinking about what twin flame runners are thinking, you might have the answer to it. These are the reasons for the runner to move away from the relationship. The reasons may differ, but one thing is common: the fact that the runner will eventually come back.

Twin Flame Runner Return Signs

When you can’t really figure out what they’re doing or why they’re doing it – sometimes the best you can hope for is signs of it at least coming to an end and them coming to their senses.

One of the best things you can do is improve your understanding of the twin flame journey. The more you understand, the more you’ll be able to see.

One of the common traits is seeing more and more signs and patterns. Common numbers like 111 and 222 are the obvious ones you hear a lot about (and we’ve already covered this to death). You’ll also see an increase in twin flame telepathy. This will happen at all stages of the journey, but the more often you see it, the closer the runner is to making it through that stage. This is exactly the reason I offer twin flame tarot readings.

No two journeys will be the same, so I can’t tell you exactly what the runner twin flame is thinking – I can only help you understand their mindset.

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After struggling with my own twin flame journey for many years I became (I'll say it) almost obsessed with the twin flame journey and this path of self-discovery and improvement.

Now after sharing the stories of thousands of people going through their own journey I want to share my own thoughts and the patterns I see on twin flames.

I'm wary of speaking in absolutes on a subject like this. There's too much that any of us will really ever *know* (at least in this lifetime) so my opinions are based on my experience and the experience of those I speak to and who share their stories with me.

There are no two journeys that are ever going to be entirely alike but when you see enough of them, you do see definite patterns emerge.

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1 comment

  • Dear,

    A week ago, I dreamed that a petite dark haired girl placed two tiny circular stacked magnets on the skin of my outstretched bare left arm.

    Then she placed another two stacked magnets on the same arm approx 6 inches away.

    Then she spoke the following words…



    Then I awoke with her words ringing in my ears.

    My Twinflame…is a petite blonde haired girl.


    The only problem is however,
    that when we met 15 years ago, my Twinflame said she was married.

    I of course wanted her, (will always want her) but had no choice.

    So I silently painfully admitted defeat and tore myself away from her.

    We were then physically separated by dark forces before I could get her name or address.

    If by the grace of GOD my Twinflame reads this then I pray she will post below.



    She KNOWS that I have always wanted her and will never stop loving her.

    We knew and loved each other even before birth.

    ALL that is STOPPING us from being together (apart from her probably still being married) is that I don’t know where she lives!


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