Perhaps one of the biggest misconceptions and mistakes I see is how we look at the twin flame surrender stage.
The surrender stage does not mean completely abandoning your twin or giving up on your journey entirely. It’s an essential step to prepare you both for union.
How we do this matters though. We can’t attempt to rush through the surrender stage or force it to happen to get it over with. There are no shortcuts in the twin flame journey and we don’t want to slow things down.
So I’m going to try and help you understand what the stage is, when it can (or ‘should’) happen and how you can use all of this to bring you and your twin closer to union.
What Does Surrendering to Your Twin Flame Mean?
If you’re anything like me, you might find the idea of ‘surrendering’ yourself to someone else (even your twin) a bit… against the grain.
I always considered myself a very independent person and didn’t like the sound of this when it was explained to me.
Surrendering does not mean giving up your independence or your power. Quite the opposite.
It isn’t about giving up on the twin flame connection or giving up to the twin flame runner’s will. It’s about surrendering yourself away from the ego and from focusing entirely on your twin.
It’s about focusing on yourself and your own journey instead. That’s when we’re able to heal and actually move on to the next stage of our journey.
Note: I know exactly how painful a separation phase can feel and I’m not trying to detract from that at all. Every single twin flame I’ve spoken to (and that’s a lot) goes through the pain and struggle of constantly thinking about their twin flame. Getting past that is important – but not easy.
So how do we make that happen?
Can You Detach From Your Twin Flame?
Yes… and also no.
Twin flames share a bond that will never severe on the higher dimension. That doesn’t mean that you’re always going to reach union in this lifetime but you’re never going to completely detach from them.
That rule doesn’t extend to the 3D or physical dimension in front of us. Quite the opposite in fact.
Almost every twin flame journey will go through some version of the separation phase. Sometimes multiple times. This means you’re physically separating but that bond is still very much there.
I talk a lot about the pain of this stage and ways to cope but remember that it does serve a purpose. An important one. Once we detach from your twin flame we move away from the runner and chaser phase and towards real genuine healing.
I’m not going to tell you this happens overnight. It tends to happen in challenging phases and intense waves of focusing on them might come and go. Once you’ve experienced the intense feelings of a twin flame connection it can be hard to move on from it.
The more you understand about the journey, the easier that becomes.
This is why we call it the surrender stage. You’re not surrendering yourself, you’re surrendering to the path.
We leave behind the doubt, the fear and our ego. We commit to healing and give our runner twin the space and time to do the same.
How to Begin the Surrender Stage
Note: You can still work on manifesting your twin flame while surrendering to the journey. It doesn’t mean we have to forget them – just as long as our focus is on actively improving things and not sitting back and waiting for it.
As with most of the twin flame journey, there’s no easy way to do this. There’s no easy way to do any of this.
The timeline and process are going to be a little different for everyone but the surrender process is a key part of the road to a physical union for everyone and while the twin flame experience is unique – we’re all human and there are some tried and tested ways to focus on our soul journey.
The first step is the easy one. We need to accept (and fully understand) that the twin journey is a spiritual connection. This isn’t just about a romantic connection and our physical body.
The path to reaching union with another person is actually to focus within.
This part is going to look different for everyone but a good way to start is to focus on your goals. These might be professional, physical, emotional or spiritual. It can seem completely counter-intuitive but weirdly the best way to further your journey is to focus on any other area of your life.
This might mean focusing on your work, it might mean getting to the gym and focusing on your health. It might mean traveling the world or discovering a new hobby.
It can be hard to know exactly what you should start doing but my advice is not to stress yourself over it. The sheer fact that you’re reading this is a sign that you’re on your way to surrendering to the path ahead.
If you do need guidance then consider a twin flame reading or bring your focus internal. Meditation and journaling can be an incredibly powerful combination and giving your intuition free rein to guide you might reveal your way forward.
In some ways, you’ve probably already started moving towards this stage.
What Happens When You Disconnect From Your Twin Flame?
Again (I always say this so I don’t alarm anyway) there’s no set roadmap for the twin flame journey. Don’t compare yourself (or your twin) to what you read in other twin flame stories.
It is always a step in the right direction but that doesn’t mean you’re going to immediately reach union.
Twin Flame Surrender Symptoms
When you disconnect from your twin flame and surrender to the journey on some level your twin is going to know this. On the higher levels you both know exactly why this is happening but how that manifests on the 3D is going to vary wildly.
In some cases, this might trigger the runner/chaser phase to reverse and your runner might start chasing.
Whether or not this happens – your actions should not change. Focus on yourself. Continue to surrender to the journey and allow things to move at a natural pace.
This symptom is perhaps the hardest to deal with. If it happens early in the surrender stage then our impulse can be to immediately run to them without having proper time to work on ourselves which is just going to set us further back.
The Obsession Ends
Almost anyone on the twin flame journey will feel consumed by their runner twin at least once. Whether we’re spending all our time thinking about them or scrolling through their social media it can be hard to focus on anything else.
Sometimes the separation phase still involves communication and we’ll spend far too much time thinking about what we should say next.
One of the first signs of the twin flame surrender stage is we start to shift our mindset from focusing on them to focusing on ourselves. Sometimes this is described as “feeling done” with them.
This sometimes leads to doubt on your journey. You might question if you were ever twin flames at all or you might be used to the chaotic energy that was between you. This is perfectly normal and will pass quickly.
It’s important to remember that this probably won’t happen overnight. It’s almost always a gradual process that you might not even notice happening. The more we’re able to focus on our own path and our own healing, the less we’ll focus on theirs.
That doesn’t mean we’re not helping them, however, which brings me to the next point.
You Feel Lighter
Once we remove the stress of focusing on your twin flame you’ll feel a weight slipping off your shoulders.
Not only have you removed stress from your 3D self but your higher 5D self knows that you’ve taken a step in the right direction and you’ll be working with a much higher vibration to help further you onward.
You’ll feel clearer and more energized.
This is another universal symptom that everyone will notice.
The surrender stage gives us this energy to help us push our goals forward. This might be in one specific area of our lives or across the board. You’ll take better care of yourself and see success in areas you might have been stuck with before.
You’ll release negative beliefs that prevented you from even trying before and become the most authentic version of yourself.
Your Twin Flame Heals Too
A universal rule on the journey is that when you’re able to focus on your own journey, your twin is going to do the same thing.
Whether they’re consciously aware of it or not something is going to drive them to improve themselves. To work on their faults, push themselves onward and prepare them for union.
This is why twin flame surrender is not selfish or abandoning them. In some ways, it’s the best thing we can do to help them too.
Twin Flame Telepathy Spikes
While twin flame telepathy is always happening (long before you ever physically met) it becomes especially noticeable once you reach the surrender stage.
While your 3D self focuses on the work ahead of you in your own life, you’re never alone with twin flame relationships and your twin helps guide you here. Part of this is support and energy to continue your own progression but it’s also a way for them to call you back when your healing is done and you’re ready to come back together.
These spikes can manifest in many different ways but often appear as synchronicities or an increase in shared dream communication. This is going to be highly unique to your journey together but you’ll start to notice it more often and you’ll know when it’s time to move on in your journey.
What Happens for Twin Flames After Surrender?
There’s no clear timeframe for this stage and from the many people I’ve spoke to I’ve seen it vary a lot. If there’s one trend I certainly see it’s that after the surrender stage the two of you seem to be guaranteed to reach union.
I don’t think I’ve spoken to a single twin flame who successfully committed to the surrender stage and didn’t reach union in this lifetime.
This does not mean that ignoring your twin flame is the way forward but intentionally working on your own progress is the path towards ascension and reunion with your mirror soul.