Does the twin flame chaser give up?

For that matter, can the twin flame chaser give up? Considering that the more spiritually awakened person is the one more likely to be studying the twin flame journey, it’s unsurprising that most of the people I talk to are the chasers.

But if there’s one question I get from runners, it has to be why the twin flame chaser gives up. Or maybe you’re the chaser, and you feel like giving up. Does that mean it was a false twin flame connection, to begin with, and you’ve been wasting your time? Is this normal? What does it mean?

The twin flame chaser does (eventually) give up in the context of a normal 2D relationship, but that doesn’t mean that the twin flame journey will end. Roles reverse constantly in the journey, and when the chaser gives up focus on themselves, it actually furthers both twins toward a proper union together.

I recently posted about why one person is the awakened twin flame and how that can feel unfair and, certainly, painful for the twin having to do all the heavy lifting at this stage, but I’m going to say the same thing again.

Don’t get so caught up on labels. Roles reverse, and it’s perfectly common for chasers to become runners, and some mirror souls will have long stretches of the journey where it can seem like neither twin is chasing. That doesn’t mean you won’t reach union. Navigating the twin flame journey is tough.

So many questions and so few answers. How do you know if you’re doing the right thing?

If it’s specific advice for your journey you want I suggest a twin flame reading but I thought it was time we took a look at when the chaser feels like giving up (note: this is not the twin flame surrender stage – that’s something very different).

Do You Feel Like Giving Up on Your Twin Flame?

If you are the twin flame chaser and you feel like giving up on your runner, I get it.

Being the chaser can be emotionally, spiritually and even physically painful. Even if you don’t feel like giving up, you might be hoping you do just so the pain goes away.

It’s not at all uncommon for the chaser to ‘give up’ at some stage. In a lot of ways, this is exactly what it takes to reach union.

Sometimes, the chaser might give up and begin another relationship with a soulmate or other false flame. It doesn’t mean you’re not on a true twin flame journey together. It just means this phase of ‘giving up’ is part of your journey together while you both work towards being ready for union.

Firstly, I’d ask you to make sure you understand the twin flame runner’s feelings. They’re not intentionally trying to hurt you. In short, they likely don’t understand their own actions, and they’re just acting out of self-preservation, trying to deal with a connection they’re not equipped even to expect.

twin flame give up

Can You Give Up on Your Twin Flame?

It really depends on what we consider ‘giving up’. In the long term, you can’t quit or give up your twin flame. All the chasers can do is stop chasing and surrender themselves to the universe. Twin flames are still mirror souls, and that simply doesn’t go away no matter what either of you does.

You can’t force yourself to move on from a twin flame because that connection is always going to be there. Freeing yourself from the chase and giving yourself time to focus inward is actually an important part of moving towards union – but we’ll get to that in a moment.

Did Your Twin Flame Chaser Give Up?

Perhaps you’re one of the rarer twin flame runners who are aware enough of the journey to be here. The majority of my readers are the chasers, and if you’re aware enough at this stage, it’s a great sign of the potential to reach union this lifetime.

If your chaser seems to have given up, it’s not that they’ve lost their feelings for you or that your journey has failed. It can actually be a good sign that they’re taking this time apart to focus on themselves and their own spiritual path to be ready for union.

You should be doing the same.

What Happens Next?

There’s never a clear roadmap for a twin flame journey together. It might be that nothing happens for a while and you come back together to repeat the separation process, it might be that you’re right around the corner from union.

Another common scenario that is sometimes overlooked is the roles can reverse.

twin flames giving up

Twin Flame Runner Becomes Chaser

This also means the twin flame chaser becomes the runner. Once you’ve had a taste of the connection between a twin flame, nothing else is ever going to compare in the long run. You might go through periods where one (or both) of you find yourselves with false twin flames in other relationships, but it won’t last.

Now, this does not mean you should give your twin flame the silent treatment the moment they annoy you and expect them to chase immediately, but over the course of the journey, this role does reverse.

Until fairly recently I’ve been the chaser to my twin flame runner. I’ve been through hell and back on the Dark Night of the Soul (DNOTS).

I thought they would kill me. But they didn’t, they transformed me. The really amazing thing is that my runner twin flame will have experienced that as well, muted because has kept herself amazingly busy with everything she could but they were there at the back of her mind and in her soul. As soon as I surrendered and stopped chasing, she would have felt those changes. While I was feeling more positive personally, I was still feeling quite negative for the relationship, as I believed I had only really come to grips with things for myself. But only very recently, I discovered I was feeling quite happy with myself and I came to feel there was a prospect of seeing her again soon. These are things that we both would have been experiencing, and in particular, she would have been experiencing because I had stopped chasing.

Runners run because chasers chase. On some level it gets as simple as that. The runner is running from the connection, embodied by the chaser. But they can’t run forever, the pull is too strong. The only reason some run at all is because their chaser won’t stop.

So yes, if you ‘give up’ on your twin flame relationship and partner, you will actually be surrendering to the Universe, to the twin flame journey, and your twin flame runner will feel it. In time they will come back, so there is nothing you need do but wait and keep looking into your heart and soul for guidance.

I’ve covered the twin flame runner’s feelings in detail before, but sometimes we tend to gloss over the feelings of the chaser, sometimes just assuming they’re going through something worse.

The chase can be brutal. Draining. And while there is a chance that the fact a chaser quits means it was a false twin flame connection and was really just attracted to someone else mistaken for a twin flame connection – this doesn’t mean that every chaser who quits is actually quitting.

I can’t tell you the difference over an email. If it’s hard for you to know the difference – it’s impossible for me to know. Feeling like the chaser in a normal relationship can be tough, and you don’t really know the difference until you’ve felt that twin flame connection – but who’s to say if you’ve felt it yet?

Understanding what’s going on and what the chaser should do might be easier if you understand what the runner is doing.

The Twin Flame Runner Needs Space

Both from first-hand experience and from the thousands of people I’ve spoken to about their twin flame journey, I know how frustrating and painful this stage can be.

But it’s important we understand that it’s not only part of the journey – it’s an important part.

The twin flame runner goes through at least one period of intensity, and while it’s easy for us to think they have it easy – at least you understand what’s going on. They’re usually not spiritually aware enough to understand the feelings or connection, so they’re pretty much left in the dark.

When the twin flame chaser gives up, sometimes it can be the trigger they need to take a breath and begin the process of self-healing, which they need to be ready for union. There’s no set timeline for this. It’s going to happen when it happens, but the chaser giving up is actually an important milestone in your journey.

There’s no logic or reason you can really apply here. The runner might realize later down the road how much more time you could have had together if only they’d figured things out sooner but that’s a lesson they’re only going to learn themselves. It just won’t make sense coming from anyone else.

Your Own Journey

In the meantime, your role is not to sit and wait for them – but to do everything you can to further your own spiritual path and be ready. If you’d like some guidance on your path together, take a moment to tell me about your journey so far and get a reading:

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After struggling with my own twin flame journey for many years I became (I'll say it) almost obsessed with the twin flame journey and this path of self-discovery and improvement.

Now after sharing the stories of thousands of people going through their own journey I want to share my own thoughts and the patterns I see on twin flames.

I'm wary of speaking in absolutes on a subject like this. There's too much that any of us will really ever *know* (at least in this lifetime) so my opinions are based on my experience and the experience of those I speak to and who share their stories with me.

There are no two journeys that are ever going to be entirely alike but when you see enough of them, you do see definite patterns emerge.

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  • Wow, imagine having your freedom dependant on a narcissist runner, because that’s exactly what my twin is, a narcissist that emphasizes so much on control. So basically I’m destined to chase after a narcissist, the most toxic people on earth, and it’s up to her to decide when to stop running so I can feel complete again? (17 years to be exact) effing love these mindless spiritual arrangements.

    • Peter,
      Your reply highlights a large amount of negativity toward your twin.
      Understandable that 17 years is a long separation but being mirror souls each of you play a part in separation.
      Laying blame solely on the runner and not doing self work to heal the aspects of you hurt will not support union.

  • I’m a chaser and I’m exhausted. Emotionally… mentally… physically. Everything. And I want to give up. To quit and just go back to being happy on my own and “normal” but I am CONSUMED by thoughts of my TF. I cannot get him out of my mind no matter how hard I try. Im feeling desperate and dont even know what to do. I guess Im lucky really because he hasn’t completely disappeared… I get a message from him every few days usually… I know in some TF relationships, theres no contact for long periods of time and I honestly don’t know what I would even do in that case. Im so tired today. It wasnt a good day for me and its only been 5 days since I heard from him but it feels like forever. I dont know what to do from here. I wish I could just give up but my heart is too damn stubborn at this point.

    • Hello Elizabeth
      How wonderful that you Do hear from your twin flame
      I have not heard from my in over a year
      But weather your in contact or not I think your get your answer going in separation let them chase you let them tell you what you want to hear do not know your situation mine is married asked me to wait for him which i have patiently no communication from him don’t know what I was thinking so decided 2021 going to let him go and let divive timing do it’s work

  • I had the pleasure of meeting my TF and it lasted only 6 few weeks as he ran, told me he wasn’t ready for me, blocked me and has completely cut me out of his life, as painful and hurtful as that is. I feel all his pain, anxiety, tiredness and highs. He is definitely not as spiritual as I, has too many issues and lack of self awareness. The connection we shared was like nothing I have ever ever experienced in my entire life, from the moment we started talking to our last moment together. He was not accepting of the connection and was even nasty to me at the end. I am tired of over 6 weeks of not sleeping well and lack of eating due to his anxieties. I can not chase and will not as it makes it even more painful that I am constantly rejected, plus he would not be accepting of me doing so.
    I dont think I’ve ever felt so much pain from such a short but sweet relationship. I can only hope he sorts out his life and makes his way back to me where he belongs.
    I can only hope this pain goes away soon as it hurts so much.

  • Chaser here.
    Recently I’ve decided to give up on the emotional pushing and pulling.
    At this point, I know in my heart I treated him with TF love, care and paciente as I was always willing to work out his running.
    This time I have decided that at this point, if he really is my TF, he will turn into my chaser. I will go on exploring my purpose and bettering my soul.
    If not, he was a false flame and lessons have been learned.

    I do feel it’s a shame how he could not pull through to live our crazy connection, but I am at peace with everything 🙂

  • I just came across this term today in an enlightment of a horoscope reading. I was curious and am completely in awe as to the coincidences. I met someone about 3 years ago we had a thing and went our seperate ways. We have kept in touch but haven’t seen each other in 2 years. He moved away for a better job opportunity and recently we met up. It was quite an intense experience as it had been previously, actually even more so. I renounced to him in the past and did again today bc we live so far away amonst other reasons. I just dk how mutual it is. He has told me how intense he feels when we connect and how relaxed he is around me how he feels like he has known me forever. Its just very weird. Im the chaser I suppose ive given up in the past and am willing to do it again so he can be happy and so i can try to forget him I dont think we will ever be together even though I feel like I fell in love at first sight. He literally took my breath away

  • I’m sure my TF has no idea what TFs are. Oddly enough, in the beginning of our friendship or journey, he always told me to stop running away. Now he’s the one running from me.

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